Why does it have to be painful? Why can’t things that help us grow be fun? Why is it like hitting yourself with a stick or smashing your head against a rock? The joy of moving ahead or climbing up supersedes the pain of hurting yourself. But it is under your control, this pain. You know you have the choice to undergo this.
But the pain inflicted by your oppressor is not under your control.
It is unpredictable, you are scared because it is unpredictable. It can happen anytime, it can be in any form. Funny thing is the hope, thinking that you if you don’t rattle the cage or disappoint your oppressor, you might be happy. But the problem is your oppressor will never be happy no matter what you do. You just spend your life getting scared. You can try to escape, or fight it, but if they over power you then it is again a downward spiral.
A point occurs when you accept. You accept those punishments or wounds. You blame it on luck, fate anything not under your control and live with it. This pain is not taking you any further. Overcoming the pain will not give you the joy of success. You know why? Well one reason is it is a destructive pain. And you are not pushing yourself against the pain. When you are climbing a rock, you are forcing yourself against the pain. If you are trying to surf, you are patiently waiting for the surf. With your oppressor you can do the same. Anticipate their arrival. Be patient when they attack you. Stand the pain with force, because at least right now that is the only way out of this misery.
Will you ever get out of the pain? When climbing a mountain you expect it to be painful. When someone is hurting you, you don’t. Do you “grow” differently when you expect the pain. Like when you are at the gym, you know lifting weight is painful but you still do it. But when you fall suddenly while walking, it is un expected. So is it just the mental shock that you are afraid of?
With your oppressor you know it is never a surprise. Just the timing might vary, but the pain is certain. Why be afraid?
You exactly know what you will go through and the only way out is? Your mind. They can chain you, they can beat you, they can abuse you, they can try to get inside your head. But can they control what you can think? Is your mind in chains? When you are in such agitating pain think about a sweet memory. It could be anything, a beautiful flower, the touch of a smooth stone, the waves crashing on your feet, a smile from a stranger. Just hang on to it. Your mind can run away from your present pain to this safe place, even if it is for a second. They cannot outrun you to towards your sweet memory. Remember how you felt when that moment brought you joy. Try to hold on to it. It will be like catching a moving train, but you have to run this run in your mind. The more you are inflicted pain and reminded, try to run towards this beautiful memory. Eventually things might change, but for that suffering moment you will find peace.